What are you really eating?

>> Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Gelatin—Rhymes with "skeleton." Coincidence? I think not. Gelatin is a protein made by boiling cows' and pigs' skin, tendons, ligaments, and bones. Jell-O? Hell, no!

Lard—Lard is such a gross word, it almost makes you wonder why they just don't call it what it is: "Fat from hog abdomens."

Pepsin—If the thought of eating lard turns your stomach, stay away from pepsin, a clotting agent from pigs' stomachs, used in some cheeses and vitamins.

Rennet—Certain words just make you cringe, like coagulate, congeal, clot—which is what rennet, an enzyme taken from baby calves' stomachs, is used for in cheese production.

Stearic Acid—It may sound less gross than "lard," but stearic acid, which often rears its ugly head in chocolate and vitamins, comes from a fatty substance taken from slaughtered pigs' stomachs—or from cows, sheep, or dogs and cats euthanized in animal shelters. Still want to chew on that piece of Fido?

Cetyl Palmitate—Check your head if you're using margarine that contains cetyl palmitate, the fancy term for the waxy oil derived from sperm whales' heads or from dolphins. "I can't believe it's not ... oh, wait. It is? Whale head wax?"

Urea—Urea comes from piss and other "bodily fluids." It's used to "brown" baked goods, like pretzels. Um, yeah. And the oven is for ...?

thanks to Peta2.org

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Boot to the Bruiser

>> Tuesday, November 18, 2008



When in doubt, have people assist you in putting your legs behind your head.

RIP J.Lo backyard :( They were some good times.

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I am truly sorry I can't make this any bigger, lord knows it deserves to be.

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Teenage Mutant Hardcore Beatdown Turtles

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WTFMATE

>> Friday, November 14, 2008

I just got an 'Icelandic Horse Request' on my facebook... this is the equivalent of seeing a man eat his own head. I have seen everything.

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...

We Play Checkers on It, During Long Car Rides

Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I'm sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!

--Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: sara swank


via Overheard at the Beach, Oct 6, 2008


ah the injustice of a forehead-challenged girlfriend of a hottie.

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Not that there's anything wrong with that




No, Olivia Newton-John's daughter, there isn't.

Is anyone else terrified?

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Christmas Ideas




For the millions of you out there struggling to find me that perfect something. Fail me not.

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I can't believe its not Avian


Look, I really just have to bring this back into our collective consciousness. Far be it for me to enjoy the misfortune of others... but... well I can't help it.

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Oh boy am I sure sorry this is out of rotation... Looks like a cracker.

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These are my confessions...

Confession: I would rather stay in with a good book than go and drink myself into an early death on a saturday night.

I realise that in the Under-80's, i'm a minority. And you know what? I'm ok with that. Now I don't mind a gathering, a drink or two maybe (but what's the point? two drinks, I may as well drink something that doesn't taste like gasoline)and no taxi waits. This is something that I would consider "acceptable".

What's not acceptable is:

Someone looking violently close to throwing up on your shoes that are hurting your feet anyway.

Someone looking violently close to punching someone else in the face/stabbing someone else in the throat for daring to glance in the 360-degree view that contains said psychopath.

Chemically 'enhanced' sweaty goggle eyed dancers with glowsticks that look violently close to actually wanting me to join them even though I have no idea who they are.

Bouncers that will kill you. I not lie.

Girls that wear a hanky held together with a paperclip in the middle of winter that push in the nine-mile taxi line shouting 'i'm freezing' and then huddling and whingeing constantly that their feet hurt, they're cold, too many guys were being sleazy jerks.... My brain breaks at this point.

Drinks that taste like they scraped them up off the floor and charged you a week's wages for.

Chicks that glare at you in the toilet line and then in the toilets and make you feel like you'll be glassed at any second, and then schizophrenically squeal about how much they love your bag and can they borrow your lip gloss? You're too relieved at narrowly missing having an eye out and you give it to them.

No vegetarian pizza.

Hangovers that are akin to nuclear fallout. At my age, its inevitable.


I am trying very hard to think of a positive here to counteract all my negative nancy-isms..... Oh! watching plain old drunken people dance and try to get up on stage with the Copperhead Road-playing cover band is usually pretty amusing...


So i'll stick with Proust on the weekend and you can have your goggle eyed sweaty underdressed psychopaths.

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If i'm gonna tell it, then I gotta tell it all...

Confession: I don’t understand the necessity for naked breasts in artwork.

Perhaps I’m the only one that can’t see their intrinsic value (I don’t know exactly how much porn was around back then, so maybe this is all they had), so if someone can enlighten me, go right ahead.

All I see is: ‘Beautiful background, check. Coiffed hair, check. Glamorous, intricate ballgown, check. Pudgy white hands and bowl of fruit/vase of flowers, check: Covered-up reproductive parts, ahh…. Um… well, no.’

Could it have had the same effect without the breastage? Well, to me, yes. I like paintings, I don’t like looking at boobs. Especially when it looks like the subject’s inadvertently had a Tara Reid moment, and they’re on the red carpet at Diddy’s birthday, and they’ve let one slip.

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Too funny

>> Thursday, October 30, 2008

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What would Jared do?

I can either go to the last class of the year and watch student presentations of public health issues, or continue reading The Onion... What's a brother to do?

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Get crackin



Halloween Ghost Cookies

Ingredients
6 ounces white chocolate chips or white baking chocolate
18 plain cookies
6 ounces mini chocolate chips

Directions
1Melt the white chocolate chips or white chocolate melts.
2Dip cookies in chocolate, place on wax paper.
3Place two mini chips for eyes.
4Cool in fridge.


How cute are these? Just in time for halloween. And if you make them, send them my way!

Recipe: Panthur
www.recipezaar.com/192172
Picture: Truckerboo

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Turning Japanese

I'm turning very excited at my upcoming trip. I am the proud owner of a Japanese phrasebook and can now say 'There are no clean towels'.

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Not that there's anything wrong with that.




I get it. sort of.

thanks to WENN and Perez for the image. That's seared onto my retinas.

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Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Gwen Stefani named her baby Zuma.

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So this guy is a Michael Jackson tribute artist (and an incredibly good one, if you watch with the sound down...) and has written and produced a song for his hero, entitled 'The Laughter in We'. Tell me the laughter is not in you after reading that.

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ah the memories

Just watched an episode of Frontline. I'd forgotten how glorious it is.

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Grape Lady




Because its of extreme importance that as many people see this as possible.

That'll learn ya for cheatin'.

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How Embarrassment


Tina and I have the same haircut! This is the equivalent of turning up at the formal in the same dress as someone else.

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This is what happens when you let an almost-eighteen-year-old near the Creme de Menthe.

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Not that there's anything wrong with that...


Octopus-flavoured potato chips are available for consumption in Japan. As an ignorant westerner, I couldn’t even try that. Of course, probably not all Japanese people eat them either, but there’s obviously a market for it…


So with my little segment, I intend to bring to my loyal audience (thirteen views, thirteen more than i expected, woo!) the weird and wonderful world in a pleasant, non-judgemental environment. We’ll just nod and smile and say: ‘Well, there really is nothing wrong with that… for them’.

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Vital Information

In an attempt to live in an Inappropriate-Apostrophe-Free Zone, I have created this for those of you who may be confused.

I understand many of you simply don’t care. That’s great.

Moving on.

If you want to say ‘you’re funny’, or ‘you’re a dickhead’, or ‘you’re doing my head in’, then it’s YOU’RE you’re looking for. Which means YOU ARE, but abbreviated.

If you’re concentrating on other people’s possessions, its YOUR: as in ‘your rusted tin can’, or ‘your ninja sword’ or ‘your mullet’.

If someone owns something, they get an apostrophe: God’s, Mom’s, Ronald McDonald’s.

If there is two of something, they don’t. Gods, Moms, Ronald McDonalds. (Ronald McDonaldseses is also acceptable. For that matter, so is colour-inerer.)

So just because something has an ‘s’ on the end, it doesn’t automatically need an apostrophe. Since when do the CDs own anything? Or DVDs for that matter?

Don’t get me started on Washer’s and Fridge’s… Just writing that made me ill.

Very good. You all get a scratch ‘n sniff sticker x

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...

>> Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Confession: This is what is keeping me from reading my politics textbook. Judge for yourself.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

closely followed by:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_inventors_killed_by_their_own_inventions


Not as long, but equally as entertaining.

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For the love of Lego

For all of those frustrated canteen-goers. (And if you ate the food at my uni, you would be too...)

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Another reason to love Jon Lovitz

Just a Little Turned On
Starstruck dude: You're Jon Lovitz!
Jon Lovitz: Jealous?

--Greenwich Village
via Celebrity Wit, Jun 16, 2008

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The end is the beginning

Confession: I am one of those people that wear jumpers in warm weather.

I am also one of those people that will say 'should I take a jacket?' (always answer 'yes'), or 'shouldn't you take something warm?'...

I can be cold anywhere. It is a scientific fact. Take today, for instance: sunriseweather.com.au has kindly informed me it is a balmy 23 degrees, not a single other university attendant is wearing anything that resembles warm clothing, and yes, I'm wearing a jumper.

I was born to bring down summer.

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